(coffee is a bit of a weak spot for me)
I was really hoping to be a part of Five Minute Friday last week, but I took my husband to Phoenix for a birthday weekend celebration. It was well worth it.
Still, I am definitely happy to be back for another Five Minute Friday. That time in the week where lots of writers and bloggers meet up at Kate Motaung’s blog for five minutes of unedited free writing on any given word. It is a great time to see where your mind will lead you as well as discover other’s thoughts.
This Friday’s word is: Weak
Weak is a word I can identify with. It isn’t necessarily a word I love, but I am growing to appreciate it more and more.
In my life strength was what mattered. Displaying any weakness left you open to being hurt. I didn’t care to be hurt (who does really?) so I worked hard at not displaying weakness. Even if I was hurt, you wouldn’t know it.
Now don’t get me wrong. Even though I had constructed a wall around my own heart to protect myself, I would often reach out to bless others and love on those who felt pretty unlovable. I could relate to the others who had been hurt, and I wanted to help them. I guess I wanted them to not build the walls I had, and I could show a kindness that I could not accept.
And slowly God began a new work in me.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
Little by little the hard places in my heart that were built up by years of choking back pain began to soften. I allowed myself to feel hurt and also to express it. Not to everyone, but to a friend that I allowed in, and to God.
Once I finally admitted to being weak, I learned some cool things.
My God is beyond a superhero! I have had moments where I have been so low and so hurt that I could only crouch on the floor of my bathroom and cry out in silent tears to my Father in Heaven, and you know what? He met me there. Like immediately He worked and turned all the worry and pain around.
When I felt like I couldn’t go a minute longer, He broke every chain. I mean every single one. In my weakness, I have seen and felt His strength.
Weakness doesn’t feel good. It is still hard and will continue to be hard when I am in that place, but the beauty of it all is that I am not in that place alone.
Wow…I’ve got seven minutes before it is Saturday here in AZ! Have a great weekend!