***After some prayer, I decided to post here again. I haven’t changed my post. That to me at least would be wrong. I didn’t post anything mean after all, but my hurt posted quite a bit and I felt it was important to come back and share a little heart beyond the first lines.
In the grand scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about, but that also doesn’t mean that my pain is wrong or that my pain doesn’t hurt any less or any more. It hurts.
After 32 or so days, the second buyer of our home in Prescott, Arizona has walked away.
I am torn up. I am numb.
I am not angry towards this person although I cannot imagine how you agree to buy a home and walk. A home is not an outfit or a pair of shoes. Those items are attached to more often than not an impersonal store that has many of these things. They don’t lose out on a lot when you decide to change your mind. They aren’t standing there for over 30 days waiting for you to complete your purchase. Most likely unless you have gargantuan feet, someone else will pick up those shoes and buy them. A week or more may pass but probably not even that.
EDIT – Okay maybe I was a little angry. I think more confused than anything. I keep thinking that there must be so much more to this story. I am editing here because I can’t take back the words I typed. It all hurt. You can’t very well say I am not angry and then kind of get snippy about the difference between buying a home and shoes. So I repent in my anger here. I really didn’t want to be snippy.
But a home is just that – a home. There are typically people attached who loved there, laughed, cried and lived in that home. Dreams were made there. Prayers were said there. When you decide to buy a home for the most part the other family is put on hold until things go through. Thirty to Forty-five days or more can go by. Sometimes there are other families involved too. More than you know. Not only yours. Not only theirs. Quite often there are third and fourth families involved. Other opportunities can fall through the cracks while you’re walking away.
EDIT: We were trying to buy another home and that family waited for us while we waited on our buyer. What we have decided now is to not take a step toward buying until our home is sold. We’ve said goodbye to the home that gave my husband flutters in his heart when he saw it. The worst part for us was actually telling our realtor that we couldn’t buy the home. We didn’t want the other family to hurt like we did and now of course they are. If I could insert a big sad face here…I would.
People can be just physically and emotionally decimated by your change of heart. I am devastated. I am broken. I am lost.
To the person who was going to buy our home. I know you had your reasons. I wish I knew what they were. I don’t think it would hurt any less, but I guess I could at least connect with you as a human being. Right now I can’t and that makes me sad, but I pray that the Lord will bless you and will see you through this. Whatever it is. I promise you, I don’t hate you. It isn’t that you care or anything, but really I don’t. God knew this was going to happen, and He is there for us now in our pain. We will move forward and we will fall to our knees for breath. We will pick ourselves up again. We are growing and we are getting closer to Him even through the disappointment. We’ll be okay. I pray that you will too.
EDIT: This is true. We have been praying for peace for this person. We know that they really did want this home, but for some reason they walked away. We pray for them every day.
As a side note, the lyrics in the picture are from Citizen Way’s song “Hold On.” This is from their album Citizen Way 2.0. It was very comforting for me yesterday. You can check them out here. When you do, check out their song “I Will.” It has ministered to me in huge ways through lots of growing pains.
The picture is from my wonderful husband Scott who always lets me mess with his stuff. I love him so much.