In 30 days I will be 49. The truth is, I don’t feel 48 let alone like I am going to be 49. Well, maybe a little bit here and there. I am definitely not as flexible as I used to be and I occasionally wake up from a night’s sleep (not a whole night mind you…I wake up ALL THE TIME –probably because I am almost 49) in a little bit of pain or stiffness. No idea what that is about. Anyway, maybe I do feel a little bit 48.
I am not ready to be 49 exactly. I have been consumed with a bit of guilt over it. See, God had done something pretty enormous for me a few years ago, and I kind of feel like I dropped the ball a little bit on my end of the deal. Here I am now almost 50 and I have been a bit of a slacker.
God has been more than cool with me though and His grace has never wavered. He walked with me along a road that I don’t know if I needed to walk first, but I walked it just the same.
So with 30 days left of 48, I thought I would check in on the things I have learned over the last 48 years. Since I have 30 days, I am dwelling on 30 things. I am doing this for two reasons. One…to focus on and remember what I have learned and maybe share something cool with a passer by. Two…because I love to write and I have let things get in the way of that. God put it in my heart for a reason. Even if that reason is just for me. Remember, I don’t think I’m inventing the wheel here. I am just sharing…friend to friend.
Thank to Lori at Living Out Loud for this Chalkboard background
#1 – Stop and pay attention.
There are lots of great memory moments in life. Sadly, we miss a lot of them. In the rush of the day-to-day life, we can slip right past some really cool moments. This year I have made a point of dwelling in a moment more than I have in the past. I have asked God to help me see more deeply the beauty and the richness of this world.
I am glad for the times I have stopped to savor a moment. I still clearly remember sitting with my sweet son when he was under 3 years old to watch Bananas in Pajamas as they frollicked at a special show at our local mall. I can see clearly, my sweet boy rocking back and forth and clapping his hands with joy. I remember the tears in my own eyes. I don’t exactly remember why I was so fully of emotion that day, but I am glad for it. That time is a memory gift that I cherish.
Another day, just this past summer, is burned into my mind. I was sitting in my car in the school parking lot (I worked for a week and a day or two at a local elementary school), and I was bawling my eyes out. Every lunch I cried because I felt I wasn’t supposed to be there and I didn’t know what God was doing. I felt alone, abandoned and like I had made this horrendous mistake. I didn’t understand at all what was going on in my life. Everything was up in the the air. Then I spotted this beautifuly buttlerfly. I watched him flit from the parking lot to the walkway. I knew deep inside that God put that little dear out there just for me.
There are lots of life moments that I brush past sometimes, but I am learning now to not just pause, but stop, look and linger. I am also learning to ask the Lord to point out to me something that I might otherwise miss. You know what? It is making life more than good.